HelpingOthersHelpThemselves

Counseling, Coaching, Psychology, Therapy

Those loaded with love do not allow others to disturb their peace. Make sure you nurture your soul. Madeleine Pujals Maya


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Not everything nor everyone in you past has to be in your future. Madeleine Pujals Maya


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Love those that love you unconditionally. They deserve it and need it! Madeleine Pujals Maya


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Every Moment


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Escape People Pleasing


Health Psychology Consultancy

How to Escape People Pleasing

One of my readers asked for some more tips on how to to stop being a people pleaser, a personality type I described in another post.

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If you are in the habit of saying “Yes” to others as a way of getting their approval, and also because it makes you feel important and needed, then you know by now there are certain drawbacks to being a serial people-pleaser:

  • People will use and abuse you because you’re an easy target.

  • You feel unhappy and frustrated because you neglect to take care of your needs.

  • You are emotionally exhausted a lot of the time.

  • You live with a constant fear of rejection.

Here are four tips on how to break the cycle of people-pleasing. Try using them as often as you can; you owe it to yourself.

 

Become Aware of the Habit

This is…

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How do Process Groups Function?


Health Psychology Consultancy

Process Groups for Counsellors: How do they Function?

I recently introduced the concept of process groups for counsellors. In this blog, I explain how process groups function.

The unfolding patterns of relationships among and between group members, and how these impact each participant, including the development and nature of the group itself, is the primary business of such groups. This is different from clinical supervision, or other forms of therapy groups, though it may share elements of the latter.

Trust and Confidentiality

The first few sessions of a process group typically involve the facilitator and group members addressing the issue of trust, and how important it is in situations where personal exploration and openness are encouraged. To enhance honesty and openness, confidentiality pertaining to what happens in the group is also addressed. Facilitators typically inform trainees – and will ask them to talk about the issue – not to…

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On Self-Reflection


Health Psychology Consultancy

Self- Reflection

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Turning your monocular lens inward isn’t the easiest thing to do. Very few people have the bravery to see themselves for all their faults. Fewer still are able to see themselves in all their true glory – because sometimes our faults, whether we guise them as benign or rationalise their purpose, are easier to see. We have outside help for that, of course. We can even have imaginary outside help filling our brains with ‘mush’ about how people ‘see’ us. Total strangers who are likely involved in their own self-reflections, we can hope, suddenly have the right to make you feel more or less worthy. But regardless of other influences, the true meaning of ‘finding yourself’ in self-reflection can affect how you see the world – and how the world sees you.

 

To quote Oscar Wilde, “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul…

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Common Mental Health Disorders


Health Psychology Consultancy

Common Mental Health Disorders

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The Centre for Economic Performance’s Mental Health Policy Group (2012) states that at least one third of all families includes someone with a mental illness; 17% are adults and 10% children. The most common mental disorders, which can be found in up to 15% of the population at any one time, include (NICE, 2011a):

 

  • Depression, which is characterised by low mood and can be further categorised according to severity (i.e. atypical, seasonal, major, dysrhythmia), is experienced by 10% of people in Britain (Mind, 2012).

 

  • Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which comprises “excessive worry about a number of different events associated with heightened tension” (NICE, 2011b), affects about 1 in 20 adults in Britain (NHS, 2012).

 

  • Panic Disorder, defined as “recurring, unforeseen panic attacks followed by at least 1 month of persistent worry about having another attack and concern about its consequences”(NICE, 2012)…

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Exercise and Eating Disorders – Finding Balance


Health Psychology Consultancy

Exercise and Eating Disorder Recovery – Finding Balance

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Some people in recovery from eating disorders tend to feel ambivalent about exercise. For many, exercise has been a tool that has helped to maintain the disorder. The idea that it can now be utilised as a resource for health and wellness might seem scary. How can something that was done with compulsion and lack of enjoyment be turned into an important part of recovery? Let’s take a look at why exercise is necessary for wholesome recovery, and how to go about it to benefit the mind and body.

 

It is going to be challenging, and will take some time, but you can learn to change your attitude and perceptions about exercise. Previously, exercise might have been used to help maintain the disorder, but now you can use it as a tool to help you overcome it. In other words, engaging in exercise…

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Mindfulness: The Basics


Health Psychology Consultancy

Mindfulness: The Basics

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Defining Mindfulness

Mindfulness, or present moment awareness, is a mind-body practice derived from Zen Buddhist teachings and meditation techniques. It is both a meditation technique and a way of life, where the practitioner learns to pay deliberate attention to the unfolding present moment, without making judgments about whatever experience comes into awareness. Instead, as a mindfulness practitioner, you learn to cultivate an attitude of openness and acceptance to whatever emerging experience you become aware of.

 

Besides formal meditation sessions, mindfulness can also be cultivated through partaking regularly in slow ritualised body movements like yoga, tai chi or chi qong. In a mindful state, the mind ceases to operate on habitual auto-pilot, and thinking slows – your brain stops the incessant chatter. Furthermore, the mind also gives up the tendency to dwell on past events – including what happened 5 minutes ago as well as contemplating…

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