HelpingOthersHelpThemselves

Counseling, Coaching, Psychology, Therapy

Anyone can be your best friend. Just open your arms.


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Today’s Quote


Soul Gatherings

frog

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

~ Mark Twain ~
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Only The Best


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Saying No


Know My Worth

Sometimes
I have to say no.

It’s important for me to do so
and it’s being true
to what I am really feeling

So I say no
not today
not now
I’m sorry, I can’t

But then the guilt.

It washes over me
floods my thoughts
churns in my belly

How can I say no?
They need me
need my help
need my service
and maybe need God through me

so the thoughts keep spinninglose me
that I’m just being selfish
and would it have really hurt me
to drop what I’m doing
to add more to my plate
and would it have really hurt me
to give one more afternoon

because people give to me
and so shouldn’t I give back
all that I have?
all that I am?

but then I remember
what I can be like
when I don’t take care of myself
the tailspin I can create

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Success Is mine


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Treasure Those Who Matter In Your Life


Positive Outlooks Blog

Sensitive people should be treasured. They love deeply and think deeply about life. They are loyal, honest, and true. The simple things sometimes mean the most to them. They don’t need to change or harden. Their purity makes them who they are. — Unknown


real flourishalways be

In The Garden of Happiness ♦ In The Garden of Thoughts ♦ Seize Your Dreams

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Narcissism is a family disease


Lucky Otters Haven

abused

First, a note to my readers:
I am posting one more blog post about Sam Vaknin, then moving onto other things. The reason I’ve been posting so much about him lately is because of the many writings of his I’m reading for the book I plan to start writing soon, but I don’t want to lose the focus of this blog–or give away too much more. This is a blog about narcissistic abuse (as experienced by an person with Aspergers), not the Sam Vaknin Analysis Blog. He’s gotten enough narcissistic supply from me for awhile and I really need to broaden my focus.

Moving on…

Children of narcissistic parents are always deeply damaged people. Because it’s a genetically inherited disorder (at least to some degree) but also because narcissism is a defense mechanism to protect and isolate oneself from abuse, many victims of narcissistic abuse become narcissists themselves. Those who…

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The 4 types of narcissistic abuse victims.


Lucky Otters Haven

abuse_boy

It’s become clear to me that not all ACONs and abuse survivors are on the same page when it comes to their attitudes toward narcissists.
Because we all are abuse survivors you would think there’d be more solidarity among us, but this is not necessarily the case.

It seems there are four distinct types. In spite of things I may have alluded to in the past, I don’t think any one group is worse or better than any other. They are different, and each has their reasons for having the attitudes they do. I’ll explain why I think the attitudes are different among the four groups. There is definitely a pattern I’ve noticed.

1. The Narc-Hating Group.

female_warrior

These ACONs usually underwent the worst abuse as children, or had two narcissistic parents instead of just one. Having abusive parents seems to instill the greatest anger in victims–more so than having been…

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NPD is like a drug addiction.


Lucky Otters Haven

narcsupply

It’s been said that people on hard drugs like cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine can act like narcissists, even if they do not have NPD. That’s because as the addict’s body begins to crave the substance, they will do ANYTHING to get it, because to not get it will cause them unbearable agony. Even if they know it’s better for them to go through withdrawals than continue their addiction, they will still beg, steal, hurt others and even kill to get their fix. Empathy, remorse, and consideration for other’s boundaries and rights flies out the window. The only important thing is getting that drug. It doesn’t matter if the addict is the most compassionate and loving person in the world when they’re clean; when they’re jonesing for a fix to ward off the agony, they become psychopaths.

When a person becomes a narcissist (usually early in childhood due to abuse but…

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Order and calm


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